Thursday, September 23, 2010
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of b...
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of b...: "Wow... What powerful words. You know I first started this blog as you all have heard as a private journal as what was to be read by me and o..."
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: ****** commented on your link.
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: ****** commented on your link.: "****** commented on your link. ***** wrote: '*****, I had no idea. I admire you for being strong enough to share your story and hopefully..."
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: ***** to you:
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: ***** to you:: "****** to you: Hey! I know your probably really overwhelmed BUT I'm ***** age and have been through this too HELP?? I have no where to go or..."
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: Nightmares Go Away!! (Caused by Rapist and Stalker...
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: Nightmares Go Away!! (Caused by Rapist and Stalker...: "You know what I hate 430am and over 2 to 3 years later & yet another nightmare. Waking up shaking in a sweat feeling as is the dream true?? ..."
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: What Happened to the Blog?? The Story behind the d...
Family Pays It Forward One Day at a Time!: What Happened to the Blog?? The Story behind the d...: "Well, Here it goes the story behind the Blog. The reason it was started and then deleted and started again. Wow, It is such an amazing but y..."
To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong!!!
Wow... What powerful words. You know I first started this blog as you all have heard as a private journal as what was to be read by me and only me. I had told the person that suggested I do this because of my whirl wind of Hell. I had been through that I should really take the last 6 years of my life write it all down and close that chapter of my life. I thought it to be a wonderful idea. I didn't want to write it in a journal my kids could find. But better yet the suggestions I got. Well I got lots of people to read... LOL so for a little bit I have shyed away from writing as some of things that have occured in my life have been unreal. They are things that happen in movies... NOt in real life. But yet again.. I find myself how to I get the courage to continue on. Your comments and all the support everyone has given me is giving me the courage to continue tellng my story. It may take awhile but, it will all get out sooner or later.
So I look at this comment tonight and there is so many things running through my mind,:To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong." Take this how you want. But for me just within the last little bit of my life. After the Rape and sexual assault. I found that I became somewhat sheltered in the aspect of staying out of the public eye. Which if you are going through things you need to keep bus to not shut down.
But what does this mean to me.... As i was lying in my hospital bed several years ago in a comma for awhile not knowing what was going on in the world outside and as they slowly reintroduced me to the chaotic world at age XX When I awoke I did not realize I had battled or been battling for my life. All i could see is the sheer terror in my kids and loved ones eyes. So I knew how sick I really had been.
But lying there the next couple weeks in recovery.. It was funny to have all this time to jsut think. If you know me you know I don't stop and I hardly sit and think ok never. So this was a rare occasion for me. I pondered upon many life goals I wanted to set. Being honest with my fellow man. Never going a day without telling someone how you feel about them.
It is funny because I told my kids at this time. I am never going to go a day without telling those people in my life how I feel about them. I am not sure that this has been a good or bad thing. But then at the end of the day. I feel like If I were to leave here tonight. i think most people in my life would know exactly where they stand in my life. I found this to be difficult in some areas. As we will always have those first loves that we of course will always have feelings for. And other people and friends of the opposite sex come into our lives for reasons. Some I am not sure why.. But, I know in the end we will understand it all. So this has been a challenge because when you are married. You dont really tell another man or opposite sex. I really care for you and you have become a great friend. Most people frown upon this.
But, I am a very straight shooter since this all. if you give me the chance I will tell you how I feel about you exactly. So to live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong.
How many times have you as a person or even me as a person feared that if I were to tell someone something and it was the wrong thing to say I would lose that.
An example recently arouse in my life. I met a great friend. Just a great person. Its funny because if I let you into my life you are considered a friend for life. So anyways.... i decided not to lose the fear of being wrong and speak how I felt about or friendship. now Girls... Let me tell you a secret I just learned dont decide to tell a guy... I don't know why but they take this as wow this girl wants a relationship.. Ouch when all you really want to do is thank them for their frienship because in the end people and friends and family are what get us through life. I don't know just rambiling on about this quote I ran across as I have taken it in so many ways. I have meet some amazing people in my life that I know will always be a part of my life. i am very thankful for them and that they havee come into my life.
Sometimes its funny how a certain someone will come into your life and your not sure why they are all the sudden in your life but there is I beleive always a pupose and a plan. I always try to over analyze everything. But i am going to try and go outside the comfort zone and just see how this plays out. Thanks for continuing to give support. i am working the courage up to tell more stories it just takes that certain mood. I wish I had all the money I needed.
I have had several people reach out to us for help in getting them into a rehab. It makes me so sad that when someone has finally made the decision to check them selves into rehab those families that dont have the money. Just cant go... And in the long run sometimes end up changing their mind. If I could raise enough money I would design a program to help addicts get the professional help they needed without having to have a $10,000 dollar dowan payment to get them a bed. It makes me sick. I know of 5 families that have came to be and i only wish I could give them the money to get into the rehab facility because really sometimes this is rock bottom and their last chance. Anyways,
Lets all take a chance on life and lose our fear of being Wrong. People together as teams can make miracles happen and really make mountains move.
i appreciate you that have been following and will try to write more as I am ove the shock of the number volume that came in suddenly.
thanks, The Family who wants to Pay it forward.
So I look at this comment tonight and there is so many things running through my mind,:To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong." Take this how you want. But for me just within the last little bit of my life. After the Rape and sexual assault. I found that I became somewhat sheltered in the aspect of staying out of the public eye. Which if you are going through things you need to keep bus to not shut down.
But what does this mean to me.... As i was lying in my hospital bed several years ago in a comma for awhile not knowing what was going on in the world outside and as they slowly reintroduced me to the chaotic world at age XX When I awoke I did not realize I had battled or been battling for my life. All i could see is the sheer terror in my kids and loved ones eyes. So I knew how sick I really had been.
But lying there the next couple weeks in recovery.. It was funny to have all this time to jsut think. If you know me you know I don't stop and I hardly sit and think ok never. So this was a rare occasion for me. I pondered upon many life goals I wanted to set. Being honest with my fellow man. Never going a day without telling someone how you feel about them.
It is funny because I told my kids at this time. I am never going to go a day without telling those people in my life how I feel about them. I am not sure that this has been a good or bad thing. But then at the end of the day. I feel like If I were to leave here tonight. i think most people in my life would know exactly where they stand in my life. I found this to be difficult in some areas. As we will always have those first loves that we of course will always have feelings for. And other people and friends of the opposite sex come into our lives for reasons. Some I am not sure why.. But, I know in the end we will understand it all. So this has been a challenge because when you are married. You dont really tell another man or opposite sex. I really care for you and you have become a great friend. Most people frown upon this.
But, I am a very straight shooter since this all. if you give me the chance I will tell you how I feel about you exactly. So to live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong.
How many times have you as a person or even me as a person feared that if I were to tell someone something and it was the wrong thing to say I would lose that.
An example recently arouse in my life. I met a great friend. Just a great person. Its funny because if I let you into my life you are considered a friend for life. So anyways.... i decided not to lose the fear of being wrong and speak how I felt about or friendship. now Girls... Let me tell you a secret I just learned dont decide to tell a guy... I don't know why but they take this as wow this girl wants a relationship.. Ouch when all you really want to do is thank them for their frienship because in the end people and friends and family are what get us through life. I don't know just rambiling on about this quote I ran across as I have taken it in so many ways. I have meet some amazing people in my life that I know will always be a part of my life. i am very thankful for them and that they havee come into my life.
Sometimes its funny how a certain someone will come into your life and your not sure why they are all the sudden in your life but there is I beleive always a pupose and a plan. I always try to over analyze everything. But i am going to try and go outside the comfort zone and just see how this plays out. Thanks for continuing to give support. i am working the courage up to tell more stories it just takes that certain mood. I wish I had all the money I needed.
I have had several people reach out to us for help in getting them into a rehab. It makes me so sad that when someone has finally made the decision to check them selves into rehab those families that dont have the money. Just cant go... And in the long run sometimes end up changing their mind. If I could raise enough money I would design a program to help addicts get the professional help they needed without having to have a $10,000 dollar dowan payment to get them a bed. It makes me sick. I know of 5 families that have came to be and i only wish I could give them the money to get into the rehab facility because really sometimes this is rock bottom and their last chance. Anyways,
Lets all take a chance on life and lose our fear of being Wrong. People together as teams can make miracles happen and really make mountains move.
i appreciate you that have been following and will try to write more as I am ove the shock of the number volume that came in suddenly.
thanks, The Family who wants to Pay it forward.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
****** commented on your link.
****** commented on your link.
***** wrote:
"*****, I had no idea. I admire you for being strong enough to share your story and hopefully help others along the way. You have my support."
Thanks,
The Facebook Team
___
This message was intended for **** If you do not wish to receive this type of email from Facebook in the
Facebook, Inc. P.O. Box 10005, Palo Alto, CA 94303
***** wrote:
"*****, I had no idea. I admire you for being strong enough to share your story and hopefully help others along the way. You have my support."
Thanks,
The Facebook Team
___
This message was intended for **** If you do not wish to receive this type of email from Facebook in the
Facebook, Inc. P.O. Box 10005, Palo Alto, CA 94303
***** to you:
****** to you: Hey! I know your probably really overwhelmed BUT I'm ***** age and have been through this too HELP?? I have no where to go or no one to talk to. Please get in touch I am scared!!!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Nightmares Go Away!! (Caused by Rapist and Stalker) Glad I can finally Share
You know what I hate 430am and over 2 to 3 years later & yet another nightmare. Waking up shaking in a sweat feeling as is the dream true?? Because.... 2,3 years ago it was no dream it was reality. I want the dreams to STOP. You never can go back to sleep. Same dream the dream you thought only happens in the movies. Yet for me my dream I got to experience first hand no movie it was real.
The chill of waking to a light breeze & then was it real you heard footsteps. Were they a bad dream? Part of your imagination? No they are. Real. 4:09 am the clock reads. Is one of the kids awake you call out to your kids. No answer the footsteps come closer & our heavy. Is my husband for some reason home a day & half early from work you call out. No answer. Footsteps become heavier and you start to panic. You put your head under the covers praying quickly go away. Take this away. This is in my imagination. And then the footsteps stop whoever it is has arrived. Arrived at your bedroom door. And then the shear terror of a really, really bad dream but is reality HITS. The lights are snapped on and there IT is your worst fear & nightmare come true. What to do.
IT'S a man dressed in black and he has a gun and its pointed directly at YOU.
The nightmare that is not a nightmare begins.
Yet... Tonight again trembling so hard I am thankful once 30 minutes have pasted I realize just another bad dream. Of what once was my reality of a worst nightmare... Worst movie clip ever. I am alive and it was just a reminder of that night that one night that has haunted me every night for years and years.
And now I flog if I was not trembling so bad the details of that night I would tell but... I am slowly working up the courage to relive that one dreadful....god awful night. As tonight I am thankful to be alive to take another breathe and I have 2 hours left to try and get some more sleep before. It usually never happens. Events play back and forth in my head. Scenarios what ifs. So I end tonight's blog with. I thank god I am alive, I am a survivor and my family is alive, justice is and so far has somewhat been served so tonight I thank god only another nightmare. I am alive and tomorrow I will celebrate life.
For some reason I battled for my life those weeks after that brutal attack of the rape and assault attack. Waking up days, weeks later in the hospital to see those kids smiling faces as I awoke. They had a rough couple of weeks or had it been months?? But mom was alive.... To be continued ...
The chill of waking to a light breeze & then was it real you heard footsteps. Were they a bad dream? Part of your imagination? No they are. Real. 4:09 am the clock reads. Is one of the kids awake you call out to your kids. No answer the footsteps come closer & our heavy. Is my husband for some reason home a day & half early from work you call out. No answer. Footsteps become heavier and you start to panic. You put your head under the covers praying quickly go away. Take this away. This is in my imagination. And then the footsteps stop whoever it is has arrived. Arrived at your bedroom door. And then the shear terror of a really, really bad dream but is reality HITS. The lights are snapped on and there IT is your worst fear & nightmare come true. What to do.
IT'S a man dressed in black and he has a gun and its pointed directly at YOU.
The nightmare that is not a nightmare begins.
Yet... Tonight again trembling so hard I am thankful once 30 minutes have pasted I realize just another bad dream. Of what once was my reality of a worst nightmare... Worst movie clip ever. I am alive and it was just a reminder of that night that one night that has haunted me every night for years and years.
And now I flog if I was not trembling so bad the details of that night I would tell but... I am slowly working up the courage to relive that one dreadful....god awful night. As tonight I am thankful to be alive to take another breathe and I have 2 hours left to try and get some more sleep before. It usually never happens. Events play back and forth in my head. Scenarios what ifs. So I end tonight's blog with. I thank god I am alive, I am a survivor and my family is alive, justice is and so far has somewhat been served so tonight I thank god only another nightmare. I am alive and tomorrow I will celebrate life.
For some reason I battled for my life those weeks after that brutal attack of the rape and assault attack. Waking up days, weeks later in the hospital to see those kids smiling faces as I awoke. They had a rough couple of weeks or had it been months?? But mom was alive.... To be continued ...
What Happened to the Blog?? The Story behind the disappearance of the 1st Blog. I am so Sorry!!
Well, Here it goes the story behind the Blog. The reason it was started and then deleted and started again. Wow, It is such an amazing but yet crazy story..... So here we go..
Last Saturday: We currently have not had health insurance but what we pay for Cobra which if you have ever been on is an arm and a leg but really what do you do?? So I have not been able to see my counselor in a long time and realistically I felt like I have been seeing this guy for 6-7 years and and slowly slowed down to maybe one time every six months unless something drastic happened...
So I had been talking with him this Saturday and we decided that I was going to write down all the Sh** the Tornado that had hit. Things had started to slow down for me and I was feeling allot better. So he suggested Write it all down the positive stories the negative stories. What happened, how you felt every little detail etc... I had commented to my counselor" No way, I would never want anyone to find this and read it." But the purpose of the exercise was to write it all down let it out put it away and not to look back and only look forward and not to drown any longer in the paind and suffering of what had caused me and my friends, family etc... So he suggested just get on the computer and write it all down there is tons of places you can do this blog, blogger, word... etc suggested tons of places you could do this.
So I thought a bit about this and was talking with one of my best friends that day. Sorry guys, I promised everyone No names period.... It is just too traumatic... So Talking with a best friend and they suggested just go to blogger or blog spot and just create an account that way it is password protected and just write. No one will be able to get into it. (Little Did I know)
Well being a work-a-holic like I am i really honestly don't know allot about blogging , blog spot, all the amazing things the Internet and programs have to offer out there wow... Did I learn a big lesson and fast. So Saturday night about 11:30p.m or so I am ready to start writing.
I had no clue where to start so I just started at where the tornado started to take off. about 5-6 years ago. I have so much I want to say. Positive, Negative etc.... I really have turned out to become a better person because of all this and I unfortunately can learn allot about a person usually within the first 15 minutes of a conversation. And if you ask any of my friends I like to Talk. I have a hard time listening.. Okay laugh guys... But, I did set a goal to become a better listener so if you comment I will read. I am going to become a better listener. I am the type. I do work hard to improve myself for the better of my family and kids and relationships. But, YES sometimes I drown myself in work because it takes my mind away from it all. I have a hard time dealing or talking with some of these subject.
So I write for about 6 hours and get about 12 different blog entries in. Go to bed about 4:30 or later don't remember just remember it was late and I had Church the next morning. So logged off and I was so tired Sunday I didn't start answering my calls that started ringing in at 7 am who calls at 7am on a Sunday morning.......???? Turned the phone to silence as I caught up on some sleep and skipped out on church oops sorry Bis if you read this.
So about 2pm I finally realize wow I have not turned my phone back on. I turn it on to have gotten 24 CALLS what the heck. So I call voicemail and first message off the bat is a friend I modeled back in the day with. Haven't spoken too in years oh about 6 years to be more exact. As I listen in she goes into how amazing and brave I was to write all these things that have happened to be in life on my blog. She had no clue I had been through all this and she hopes it was OK but, she forwarded to some of my close friends in the fashion industry.
At that point Mouth dropped wide open thinking what the heck how did she know I had a blog I told no one. Called her up and found out that well if you search titles like: Rape, assault, sexual assault, stalking injunction, attorney, money, addiction, rehab, death, loss of a loved one any of these things well my blog has allot of this and allot of stories I want to tell about this.. So wow someone had read my blog. Yep crapping my pants, freaking out because this was personal information stuff I had not been able to deal with and I had only began only a little slight 1/10000th of the stories.. Ouch and when I was done with that 6 hours of writing, I was an emotional basket case, i was literally shaking this was very hard for me.
So I logged into the blog... to my surprise 566 views yep that's right not even a 24 hour period and I had 566 views of people who had read my blog. OK yep freaking out. Call my counselor and say what do I do. He calms me down and we decide well lets make this a family blog one we can all tell our feeling about all this things we have been through and hope that anyone going through the same thing can reach out for help, or just to talk to someone. I know how hard some of these issues are to do deal with. I am still dealing with them.
So(Spouse currently) decides he is going to write his side of the story and we aren't going to read each others feelings or blogs until later down the road. Because we can never stop to listen to each other we always think we as Myself or him have been hurt more. In fact we both have went through allot with it as you will read to find out. So Spouse starts adding pictures starts doing his blogging. I am in a little weird stage of uncomfortableness and not sure if I should blog or not. Worried about getting feedback I can't take. I don't know its just allot to deal with.
Well Monday Labor Day rolls around first call I receive is a okay I wont say what advertisement company as I have been contracted as a model out as a spokes model for allot of them. So they call and ask to place a ad on our blog and any sales I will get 20% of. Keep in mind I did not start this blog to make money. I did it to close all these chapter's of my life as I have never told my stories to anyone I have buried them deep inside and if your lucky on a day you might hear bits and pieces. Rumors have flown and flown so more than anything once we decided to let this go public I wanted everyone to here the truth straight from my mind and what I endured and every detail so they could understand and not here gossip. My least favorite thing in the world. I don't gossip and I wont allow it in the office I hate it. It hurts people and I am a people pleas er.
Well Monday arbor 4pm I tell the advertising agency I will think about it and get back to him. He states the traffic to the blog is unreal in a 28 period of time we have had over 3000 visits to the blog.. WHAT THE H^^^ is what I am thinking. I log on and over 300+ in comments have been made. I don't mind comments but, I wasn't sure I was ready for them so I start reading them and just I don't know what I was thinking just kind of freaked out 48 hours and I had over 4, 567 people that had read my blogs. WOW and Did I really want all these people to know my story.. I was scared so I pushed ERASE..... OUCH.
Immediately I get a call from several advertisement agencies letting me know that luckily they do a back up drive nightly so they could pull it back up. I swear. So I agreed I would blog and this is the reason. I want to help others who have been through what we have been through.. I want to talk with you and help push you along. You can survive the toughest of the toughest. I am sure I have many trials along the way. I actually am dealing with a very difficult one myself right now LOVE but, funny how the hardest trials in your life is always when you learn the most. So yes I will blog. But comment, email, call let me help you, Utilize my resources ask for resources.
But, again all names will be left out for security purposes and attack of the media purposes so those of you that know me or hear a story and all the sudden you get it. I know this family. Please do not make a comment of whom we are. we are still dealing with allot of these issues and they are still very fresh and if you know who we are please keep that private for now until I figure out if I want to share that info.
I am a very honest person and I don't lie so what you hear is the TRUTH. But, I am also glad after 2 years of being silenced by attorneys I can actually have a voice. So I have my Voice and the TRUTH will be revealed. I have allot of stories and I hope you look forward in them and if going through the same thing don't hesitate to call, email etc.. I am here for you. WE may only be a family but a strong one at that. i want to do big things with this. So I will post this and copy and edit the old ones for you whom did not get to read them.
Thanks for your patience as I have received 1789 requests to follow my blog in the last 3 days so thank you for all of you who will give me the support It keep on going.
Thanks again,
Pay It Forward Family
Last Saturday: We currently have not had health insurance but what we pay for Cobra which if you have ever been on is an arm and a leg but really what do you do?? So I have not been able to see my counselor in a long time and realistically I felt like I have been seeing this guy for 6-7 years and and slowly slowed down to maybe one time every six months unless something drastic happened...
So I had been talking with him this Saturday and we decided that I was going to write down all the Sh** the Tornado that had hit. Things had started to slow down for me and I was feeling allot better. So he suggested Write it all down the positive stories the negative stories. What happened, how you felt every little detail etc... I had commented to my counselor" No way, I would never want anyone to find this and read it." But the purpose of the exercise was to write it all down let it out put it away and not to look back and only look forward and not to drown any longer in the paind and suffering of what had caused me and my friends, family etc... So he suggested just get on the computer and write it all down there is tons of places you can do this blog, blogger, word... etc suggested tons of places you could do this.
So I thought a bit about this and was talking with one of my best friends that day. Sorry guys, I promised everyone No names period.... It is just too traumatic... So Talking with a best friend and they suggested just go to blogger or blog spot and just create an account that way it is password protected and just write. No one will be able to get into it. (Little Did I know)
Well being a work-a-holic like I am i really honestly don't know allot about blogging , blog spot, all the amazing things the Internet and programs have to offer out there wow... Did I learn a big lesson and fast. So Saturday night about 11:30p.m or so I am ready to start writing.
I had no clue where to start so I just started at where the tornado started to take off. about 5-6 years ago. I have so much I want to say. Positive, Negative etc.... I really have turned out to become a better person because of all this and I unfortunately can learn allot about a person usually within the first 15 minutes of a conversation. And if you ask any of my friends I like to Talk. I have a hard time listening.. Okay laugh guys... But, I did set a goal to become a better listener so if you comment I will read. I am going to become a better listener. I am the type. I do work hard to improve myself for the better of my family and kids and relationships. But, YES sometimes I drown myself in work because it takes my mind away from it all. I have a hard time dealing or talking with some of these subject.
So I write for about 6 hours and get about 12 different blog entries in. Go to bed about 4:30 or later don't remember just remember it was late and I had Church the next morning. So logged off and I was so tired Sunday I didn't start answering my calls that started ringing in at 7 am who calls at 7am on a Sunday morning.......???? Turned the phone to silence as I caught up on some sleep and skipped out on church oops sorry Bis if you read this.
So about 2pm I finally realize wow I have not turned my phone back on. I turn it on to have gotten 24 CALLS what the heck. So I call voicemail and first message off the bat is a friend I modeled back in the day with. Haven't spoken too in years oh about 6 years to be more exact. As I listen in she goes into how amazing and brave I was to write all these things that have happened to be in life on my blog. She had no clue I had been through all this and she hopes it was OK but, she forwarded to some of my close friends in the fashion industry.
At that point Mouth dropped wide open thinking what the heck how did she know I had a blog I told no one. Called her up and found out that well if you search titles like: Rape, assault, sexual assault, stalking injunction, attorney, money, addiction, rehab, death, loss of a loved one any of these things well my blog has allot of this and allot of stories I want to tell about this.. So wow someone had read my blog. Yep crapping my pants, freaking out because this was personal information stuff I had not been able to deal with and I had only began only a little slight 1/10000th of the stories.. Ouch and when I was done with that 6 hours of writing, I was an emotional basket case, i was literally shaking this was very hard for me.
So I logged into the blog... to my surprise 566 views yep that's right not even a 24 hour period and I had 566 views of people who had read my blog. OK yep freaking out. Call my counselor and say what do I do. He calms me down and we decide well lets make this a family blog one we can all tell our feeling about all this things we have been through and hope that anyone going through the same thing can reach out for help, or just to talk to someone. I know how hard some of these issues are to do deal with. I am still dealing with them.
So(Spouse currently) decides he is going to write his side of the story and we aren't going to read each others feelings or blogs until later down the road. Because we can never stop to listen to each other we always think we as Myself or him have been hurt more. In fact we both have went through allot with it as you will read to find out. So Spouse starts adding pictures starts doing his blogging. I am in a little weird stage of uncomfortableness and not sure if I should blog or not. Worried about getting feedback I can't take. I don't know its just allot to deal with.
Well Monday Labor Day rolls around first call I receive is a okay I wont say what advertisement company as I have been contracted as a model out as a spokes model for allot of them. So they call and ask to place a ad on our blog and any sales I will get 20% of. Keep in mind I did not start this blog to make money. I did it to close all these chapter's of my life as I have never told my stories to anyone I have buried them deep inside and if your lucky on a day you might hear bits and pieces. Rumors have flown and flown so more than anything once we decided to let this go public I wanted everyone to here the truth straight from my mind and what I endured and every detail so they could understand and not here gossip. My least favorite thing in the world. I don't gossip and I wont allow it in the office I hate it. It hurts people and I am a people pleas er.
Well Monday arbor 4pm I tell the advertising agency I will think about it and get back to him. He states the traffic to the blog is unreal in a 28 period of time we have had over 3000 visits to the blog.. WHAT THE H^^^ is what I am thinking. I log on and over 300+ in comments have been made. I don't mind comments but, I wasn't sure I was ready for them so I start reading them and just I don't know what I was thinking just kind of freaked out 48 hours and I had over 4, 567 people that had read my blogs. WOW and Did I really want all these people to know my story.. I was scared so I pushed ERASE..... OUCH.
Immediately I get a call from several advertisement agencies letting me know that luckily they do a back up drive nightly so they could pull it back up. I swear. So I agreed I would blog and this is the reason. I want to help others who have been through what we have been through.. I want to talk with you and help push you along. You can survive the toughest of the toughest. I am sure I have many trials along the way. I actually am dealing with a very difficult one myself right now LOVE but, funny how the hardest trials in your life is always when you learn the most. So yes I will blog. But comment, email, call let me help you, Utilize my resources ask for resources.
But, again all names will be left out for security purposes and attack of the media purposes so those of you that know me or hear a story and all the sudden you get it. I know this family. Please do not make a comment of whom we are. we are still dealing with allot of these issues and they are still very fresh and if you know who we are please keep that private for now until I figure out if I want to share that info.
I am a very honest person and I don't lie so what you hear is the TRUTH. But, I am also glad after 2 years of being silenced by attorneys I can actually have a voice. So I have my Voice and the TRUTH will be revealed. I have allot of stories and I hope you look forward in them and if going through the same thing don't hesitate to call, email etc.. I am here for you. WE may only be a family but a strong one at that. i want to do big things with this. So I will post this and copy and edit the old ones for you whom did not get to read them.
Thanks for your patience as I have received 1789 requests to follow my blog in the last 3 days so thank you for all of you who will give me the support It keep on going.
Thanks again,
Pay It Forward Family
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